I was traveling last week and met with the sad news of a friend and acquaintance’s passing. It is becoming more common at my age, with the aftermath of Covid still showing up very real. It brought the realization that no one is going to live forever closer to home.
At the same time, I was caught in reflection on how every funeral brings all my sorrows to the surface. I sit on the bench, and tears start flowing down my cheeks. Not only for the lost friendship or the plans that will never become a reality, but equally for the unattended grief residing within me.
As you probably know, anger is not a core feeling; it is an expression of feelings that haven’t been attended to. Grief is a loss we were forced to live through, often caused by somebody else.
Everything we experience as a loss but neglect to grieve or work through builds up as anger. Most of the time, it is old happenings: abandonment issues, loss of some kind, grief for something that
never happened, memories of betrayal, etc. Many of these things we’ve forgotten about, but they still amount to the sadness and anger we carry. And even if you knew what the issue bothering
you is, would you know what to do? How do you open the knot, how do you address somebody that you cannot speak to?
I became a grief counselor about 20 years ago. It doesn’t mean that I have processed or worked through my triggers diligently. But when something becomes overwhelming and heavy to carry, at least I know how to bring it to the surface and work on it. Lately, as I work on myself constantly, I have become overly emotional in many situations, so I know it is time for a new session. I don’t
even need to attend a funeral without my sadness overflowing.
I wanted to lift this issue so you would feel comfortable and dare to bring anything bothering you up in discussion. In the hope of opening a more balanced, happy future for you.
Live with passion and let your light shine!